I Enjoy Hello Kitty! (S1E2)
two crews are hanging out in the house's full gym Lava: Why is there a fully stocked and equipped gym that is three times the size of the entire house here? Brian: Comedic effect my friend, comedic effect. Lava: Oh…Do we ever do ANY dancing? is running on a treadmill Hirano: (panting) Got…to…work…off…all…those…carbs. Must…get… buff…and…learn…how…to…glide… (Andrew climbs onto the treadmill next to him, and cranks it up as high as Hirano's. But instead of running, he's gliding) Hirano: (nasty look) I HATE YOUWHOOOAHHHH (face plants it on the treadmill and rolls off it onto the floor; a couple rug burns are already visible on him) (Everyone is staring, pointing, laughing, and giggling at him) Hirano: All right, I'll redeem myself. The treadmills not going that quick, I'll just sprint right back onto it in one motion. (He sprints towards the treadmill; he takes on step on and his foot is quickly thrown off the treadmill; he face plants it again even harder and rolls off onto the floor, twitching. He groans, pushing himself up) Andrew: (looks over) It would help if you push "stop" first. Hirano: SHUT UP, I KNOW. Ryan, and Dom are in the free weight section; Dom is about to attempt benching 400 lbs. Hok: Are you sure about this, Dom? Dom: I got this guys, I got this. All because I'm short doesn't mean I'm not as strong as you. Ryan: All right, I'm gonna let go then. Are you positive? Dom: I'm sure, just drop it already! (Ryan let's go of it and it crashes right onto Dom’s chest. He starts struggling and gasping for air while all of the other guys laugh at him hysterically) Dom: Can't breathe…! (Lava rushes over suddenly) Lava: Oh my God, are you okay Dom? (grabs the 400 lbs. and with one arm and easily lifts it off him, then lightly sets it down on the rack with no problem) Hok, Dom, and Ryan: (stare) Ryan: Holy ****. What the ****, I can't say **** either? ****ing ****! Lava: What…I'm a little athletic, okay? is over in the corner, staring at the wall Ailyn: What are you doing, Jackz? Jackie: (jumps and turns around) Oh, it's just you Ailyn. Ailyn: Uh, yeah, what are you doing? Jackie: Well…um. Can you keep this between us? It'll be worth the while if you keep it on the down low. Ailyn: (shrug) Sure. Jackie: You see that hole over there? Do you know what you can see when you look through it? Ailyn: You're a Peeping Tom. Perv. Jackie: Oh… Ailyn: But what girl isn't, move over. (they both look through the hole) Ailyn: Very nice, Puspos… nice abs! Ow owwww'' '' Jackie: And there's Steve… (Brian comes up behind them) Brian: GIRLS, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? Ailyn and Jackie: (turns around) !!! Uh. Heh! Brian: (Grabs Jackie by her ear and starts dragging her away) YOU DO NOT LOOK AT GUYS WHILE THEY ARE CHANGING, JACKIE. YOU KNOW THAT'S WRONG. Jackie: But I like guys… (sighs and hangs her head as she's dragged away) (everyone stares at the scene in the corner) Ailyn: Uh, for everyone's reference, Jackie was looking at the half naked guys, not me! Lava: (raises her brow at the hole) Huh… upstairs, Feng and Victor are walking through the hallways. They walk past Pat and Mark Fucanan (the other Fucanan brother)'s room, and here yells and thumps coming from inside Victor: Did you hear that? Feng: Uh. Yeah. (knocks on their door…no response. He knocks again…no response. He opens the door) (Pat and Mark are dressed up in full ninja gear jumping on their beds throwing paper ninja stars at each other for a good minute until they realize the doors open) (awkward pause) Pat: …NO MARK, I WILL NOT PLAY NINJA WITH YOU. Mark: (points at Pat) HE MADE ME DO IT! Pat: DID NOT! Mark: DID TO! (Throws his paper ninja stars at him) Pat: Oh, that's it! (pulls out a plastic katana) Mark: Bring it on, Leonardo! (pulls out a plastic bo staff) (they both attack each other) Feng: (sweatdrop) Maybe we should just leave…? Victor: Good idea. Puspos, Dom, Hirano and Pat are in Brian’s room, Lava walks in casually Lava: What's going on here? Pat: We're all looking at the comments posted on the mtv.com message boards! Puspos: Whoah, whoah, click on that one "Andrew and Jackie from So Real going out?" Lava: Oh, looks like no one responded to it. Dom: I believe the correct terminology is "full of epic fail". Brian: Alright…Hey look at that one… "Why does everyone say Hirano from Quest is ugly?" Hirano: YEAH, WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK THAT? Puspos: Okay…Woppiez wrote… "I don't think hes ugly…" Hirano: =) Dom: Ooh, someone called you "Sexeh". Hirano: =D Brian: Look what that girl Ninjagirl wrote "Hirano is NOT ugleh....he's like the dark horse...galloping in at the last minute...nobody really highlighted him throughout the season...but now that he's getting more airtime....he really is adorable and his voice is so cute too =)" (thump) Lava: Hirano…? (they turn around and see Hirano passed out on the floor, smiling) Puspos: He's in his happy place now… Pat: Check it, that topic…it's called "Real World: ABDC" Dom: That sounds stupid, who would ever read that? Lava: Yeah, that's lame. Brian: Geez…everyone keeps writing thousands of threads about how the show is rigged. Puspos: Oh please, the show is not rigged. The only way we'll know the show is rigged is if my crew undeservingly makes it into the top 2 over Kaba due to MTV randomly making the week 8 results based on a "cumulative voting" system. Dom: Wow, everything everyone says here is just so overwhelmingly unironic. Brian: OH MY GOD "LAVASAUR PORN!" All the guys: CLICK IT CLICK IT! Lava: (sweatdrop) WHAT?! Brian: Heh…just kidding guys. Pat: (Slaps him on the back of his head) You're an idiot. Lava: Heh… heh… while later, Brian Fucanan is sitting at the kitchen table, alone, doing sudoku Brian: Seven can't go there…four can't…hmm…maybe three…but it's already in the box…(stops suddenly, breaking his pencil) My Brianbuyoiyoi senses are tingling! (Mark Fucanan brother walks in, yawning and stretching) Mark: Hi Brother Brian (waves) Brian: (scowling) Hi. Mark: (raises an eyebrow, but goes to the Jabbafrigerator) OJ, please. JabbaWockee: Jabba? Mark: Hmmm…with pulp, please. JabbaWockee: Jabba (hands him a glass of OJ) Mark: Thank you! (shuts the Jabbafrigerator and turns around, and sees Brian staring him down hatefully) Uh…is something wrong? Brian: Oh, no, not at all. Nothing's wrong. Whatever would give you that impression? Whatever would? Huh? Huh? Huh? Mark: Maybe the fingernail claw marks you left in the table? Brian: (glances down and realizes he's been clawing into the table the whole time, and digs into them deeper) …Move along brother. Mark: Alright, alright. (starts to walk out) Brian: Yeah, you keep going, coward. Bloodsucker. Mark: (turns around) Excuse me? What did you call me? Brian: YOU HEARD ME, A BLOODSUCKER. Mark: (cocks an eyebrow) Yeah? (they get into each other's faces, growling) Brian: You get your Florida made OJ from concentrate with extra pulp out of my dazzlingly good-looking face… (Ailyn starts to walk into the Kitchen as Brian swats the cup of OJ out of Mark's hand) Ailyn: Hey guys- - - AHHH! (OJ gets all over her, and she stands there for a minute, then sighs and walks out, shaking her head). Brian: Come on…MARX…bring it on. Come on then, show your fangs, bite me MARX. Bite me. Do it. Come on. Peer Pressure. Filipinos taste good. (Lava walks in) Lava: (sighs and picks up a toaster) Hey guys! (they both turn around; she whales the toaster and Brian and knocks him out easily; he hits the floor unconscious) Mark: Thank you. Lava: And you say I'm the one who needs help controlling themselves… Mark: You don't understand, he mispronounced my name! Lava: Ooh…that IS a no no…. your own brother… ouch… (pause) Alright. This can't keep going on. Who are we going for? Mark: Work your charm on a guy or something. Lava: Yeah but who would be so gullible and manipulative that I can get to him that easily and that quickly? (Puspos stumbles in, smiling) Puspos: Hey, lady! (winks) Mark: Target sighted. few are hanging around in the main room Ryan: Okay, so the point of the game is to let people know your most embarrassing secret, so you can feel no shame whatsoever. As dancers we need to let go of everything and dance with no shame! Pat: Why are we playing this? Don't we have dance routines to choreograph? Ryan: Okay, I'll go first, I'm deathly afraid of ducks and honeydew! (everyone applauds) Ailyn: I have a Draco Malfoy tramp stamp! (everyone applauds) Steve: I own the entire Speed Racer anime series…in the original Japanese edition! (everyone applauds) Feng: I think Martha Stewart was innocent! (everyone applauds) Jackie: I always wished I could be a clown who could juggle chainsaws! (everyone applauds) Ryan: Come on, everyone, keep saying it, and be proud! (applause picks up more and more) Jackie: I HOLD THE WORLD RECORD FOR MOST CHOCOLATE PUDDINGS EATEN IN FOUR MINUTES! Victor: I OWN A MAN PURSE! Andrew: I WISH I WERE AN ALPACA! Dom: MY FAVORITE MOVIE IS ALADDIN! Hok: MINE TOO! Steve: DOM STOLE MY LUNCH MONEY EVERYDAY WHEN WE WERE LITTLE! Feng: I ENJOY THE TWILIGHT BOOK SERIES BY STEPHANIE MEYER! Puspos: I ENJOY WATCHING HELLO KITTY! (everyone suddenly goes silent and stares at him) (awkward pause) Ryan: THAT'S OKAY, BECAUSE I DO TOO! (everyone applauds) night; Puspos walks into the TV lounge, walking by a lamp; it's a JabbaWockee with a lampshade over his head Puspos: (turns on the light) JabbaWockee: Jabba. (light turns on) (Puspos sits down on the middle of the leather couch and starts flipping through the channels) Puspos: Home Improvement…Family Matters…Full House…wow there is nothing to watch… (Ailyn walks in and sits to Puspos's left) Ailyn: Hey Puspos, what are you watching? Puspos: (jumps) Uh…hi Ailyn. Heh. Uh. Nothing really. (really nervous and uncomfortable) Ailyn: Oh, okay, keep flipping, I guess. (Jackie walks in and sits to Puspos's right) Puspos: O_O;;;;; (sweating, uncomfortable, nervous, absolutely terrified) Ailyn: Oh, stop, it's The Match Game! Jackie: I love this show! Isn't that Charles Nelson Riley such a riot? Puspos: Uh. Yeah. Heh. Ailyn: This show is so good… Puspos: (thinking to himself) Don't worry Puspos…they're not going to do anything to you… you're good…you're fine…they won't touch you…if you don't do anything to them…they won't do anything to you… Jackie: Oh, Puspos, you have never been more incorrect in your entire life. (Puspos screams as Ailyn pulls out rope)